Trust and Betrayal in Relationships



Posted: Thursday, August 24, 2006

by Susan Russo
Pinnacle Thought Inc.

"Trust can take years to build, and only a second to break." -Anonymous

Many of us know what it feels like to trust someone only to find out later; they simply weren't to be trusted.

At times there are telltale signs that the person you are involved with may have issues. Issues such as: an inability to be totally honest.

I love those half truths; is it a lie or is it the truth? Oh, it's both!

Or perhaps they're sneaky and secretive. You may feel like you are always trying to get the 'real' truth out of them. You may have a gnawing feeling that things just don't seem to be right.

On the other hand, betrayal may blindside you. It may rock your world to the point that you are in disbelief. Even your friends and family are in shock. But, sadly it does happen.

Typically this perpetrator is the devil in sheep's clothes.

You don't see it coming and you are totally blown away when it does.

There is nothing quite like begin betrayed by someone you love.

Betrayal is one of the most difficult situations to deal with, not only in your personal relationship; but in life in general.

Betrayal comes chock full of a gamut of emotions. The initial hurt can be overwhelming. It is not until you really begin to accept the reality of the situation that you begin to heal.

The most important factor is to understand that this is not a reflection on you. Some people may take it personally; as if there is something wrong with them that would make this person be so heartless.

Bitterness and anger are some of the effects of betrayal.

But, it's how we handle this bitterness that impacts us the most.

If you don't let go of it; the only person it hurts is yourself.

If you hold onto it; you hold onto someone that doesn't deserve another second of your precious time.

It's in grasping the concept; that you really don't want to be with someone who could hurt you like this; is the time you will begin to let go and move on.

The reality is: you need to take a long hard look at this person who says they love you and decide if they are worthy of "your" love.

On the other hand, you may choose to give this person another chance.

Hopefully, it will be for a chance to make things right; this takes a very serious commitment by both partners. Just keep in mind that you may possibly be giving them a chance to betray you again.

So, when betrayal enters your world, know this: You are now going to have to make a decision as to whether or not you want to remain in a relationship with someone you can't trust.

Once the trust in a relationship is broken, you can be certain that it's a tough road to get it back. This is a time where you have to decide to continue on and work through this obstacle course or cut your losses and move on.

Everyone's circumstances are different but the emotions are the same.

Life can sometimes deal us a bad hand of cards. So when you are stinging from the betrayal of someone you've trusted: just remember one thing: You have to know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

It's your choice.



Read more about it at: http://www.whystay.com

Susan Russo is the President of Pinnacle Thought Inc. Publisher for books and resources which provide inspiration, self-empowerment and the tools and strategies to help move you toward personal success and fulfillment. She is editor of "You've Got Power" ezine. Author of "There Is Life After What's-His-Name. And, "The 7 Keys to Unlock the Power Within You" which can be found at: http://www.susanrusso.com

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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)
» left by Marilyn from Ohio 5 years 259 days ago.
I met someone 6 months ago who I thought was my best friend ever, but once again I was betrayed. The only difference this time is was a woman friend and not a guy. I think it hurts worse, but your article really helped me in an important way. I was dealing with a person who has issues and I knew something wasn't right, but I stayed anyway because I wanted to think I found a close friend fianally, but I need to remember that I was a good friend to her so not to be hard on myself. Thanks.
» left by 5 years 258 days ago.
Hi...thanks for your comment. You are absolutely right. You shouldn't be hard on yourself, you weren't the one who deceived someone. When you give friendship and trust, it's difficult when you find out you've been duped. The good news is; it allows you to find out who your friends are, and you know the old saying, "With friends like that who needs enemies?" Now you have to decide if this is the kind of person you want to call your friend. Warm wishes...Susan
» left by Rosa from Vancouver, BC 4 years 301 days ago.
I like what you said in this article because what you said is exactly how i'm feeling. I just really gotta learn to make a decision and go thru with it, because i don't want to live with this bitterness and hurtfulness forever.
» left by Anonymous 4 years 300 days ago.
HI Rosa, Although you feel hurt now the good news is that will pass. Being bitter is a choice. We all face adversities in life and it's not what happens to as that matters as much as how we view what happens to us. Instead of being bitter, thank God that you no longer have to deal with this person. Go out and celebrate!
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